Here's the mantra: It's not my fault.
This mantra is so very simple yet so incredibly effective.
Too often, I blame myself when things go wrong. If a friend or a loved one is upset, I instantly think that I am the cause of at least a little bit of their distress. If plans fall through, then I assume that I did not take the necessary precautions to keep the schedule running smoothly. If I do poorly on a project or test, then I tell myself that everyone else did better and that I didn't properly prepare.
I assume way too much, and I take blame for things that have absolutely nothing to do with me.
- I cannot control someone else's mood.
- I cannot control time.
- I cannot be void of mistakes.
- I wrongly blame myself for things that happen as a result of 1, 2 and 3.
I assume fault that's not mine, and I worry about problems I didn't create.
Adopting the "it's not my fault" mantra has helped keep my spirits up and my stress-level in check. With this attitude, my head stays clearer. I am able to quickly solve the problem, instead of dwelling on how the problem was created.
Now, I am certainly not saying that I am never to blame. I am simply saying that I am not always to blame. And I am definitely not using my new mantra as a chance to point the finger at someone else. I am instead insisting that blame solves nothing.
With this new mantra, I remind myself to have confidence in my actions and clarity in my reactions.
I am finally understanding how important it is to give myself the same grace and patience I give others.